DEAR HARRIETTE: I am trying to kick my casual smoking habit. I never thought I would become a smoker -- I know how horrendous it is for the body. However, when I am outside the bar getting some fresh air and get offered a cigarette, I get excited and can't say no. I have tried refusing, but this typically falls on deaf ears. I want to kick this habit for good. What can I say to those who harmlessly offer me a cigarette? -- Deathly Habit, Cincinnati
DEAR DEATHLY HABIT: In 12-step programs, the recommendation is to avoid people, places and things. What does this mean? If you are trying to kick an addiction, you need to put yourself in situations that will support you. It also means you have to walk away from the people who make it easy for you to smoke, the places that inspire lighting up and the cigarettes themselves. Attempting to reason with your smoking friends will not work. It doesn't mean that they don't care about you. It does mean that they care more about their cigarettes. Remember that cigarette smoking is an addiction. That means it defies logic. To stop smoking for good, you have to remove yourself from the influences that make it too easy for you to slip into unhealthy behavior. You can do it!
DEAR HARRIETTE: A wedding invitation just came in the mail addressed only to me -- not my husband. This was bizarre, considering the groom-to-be is our nephew. I deal with all of the mail, bills and house maintenance, so I think this could be foresight that I would be the only one seeing the invitation and RSVPing. Yet, I am still not positive. Should I call and ask if my husband was purposely not put on the envelope? Nothing has occurred in the family to have my husband not be invited. -- Not All the Names, Denver
DEAR NOT ALL THE NAMES: Under "normal" circumstances, a wedding invitation sent to a married couple should include both spouses. These days, you never know. Rather than wondering what the intention of the couple is, by all means, call and ask. Call the bride and congratulate her on her upcoming nuptials. Tell her that you received her invitation. As you were preparing to RSVP, you realize that the invitation was sent to you, but not to you and your husband. Ask her directly if your husband is invited. If you think he wants to attend, be clear with her that you would like for him to come with you. It is rare that a married couple is not invited as a unit. If she has room for you only, perhaps due to the number of guests that she can invite, you will then have to decide if you go alone or pass on participating. Either way, stay positive.
DEAR DEATHLY HABIT: In 12-step programs, the recommendation is to avoid people, places and things. What does this mean? If you are trying to kick an addiction, you need to put yourself in situations that will support you. It also means you have to walk away from the people who make it easy for you to smoke, the places that inspire lighting up and the cigarettes themselves. Attempting to reason with your smoking friends will not work. It doesn't mean that they don't care about you. It does mean that they care more about their cigarettes. Remember that cigarette smoking is an addiction. That means it defies logic. To stop smoking for good, you have to remove yourself from the influences that make it too easy for you to slip into unhealthy behavior. You can do it!
DEAR HARRIETTE: A wedding invitation just came in the mail addressed only to me -- not my husband. This was bizarre, considering the groom-to-be is our nephew. I deal with all of the mail, bills and house maintenance, so I think this could be foresight that I would be the only one seeing the invitation and RSVPing. Yet, I am still not positive. Should I call and ask if my husband was purposely not put on the envelope? Nothing has occurred in the family to have my husband not be invited. -- Not All the Names, Denver
DEAR NOT ALL THE NAMES: Under "normal" circumstances, a wedding invitation sent to a married couple should include both spouses. These days, you never know. Rather than wondering what the intention of the couple is, by all means, call and ask. Call the bride and congratulate her on her upcoming nuptials. Tell her that you received her invitation. As you were preparing to RSVP, you realize that the invitation was sent to you, but not to you and your husband. Ask her directly if your husband is invited. If you think he wants to attend, be clear with her that you would like for him to come with you. It is rare that a married couple is not invited as a unit. If she has room for you only, perhaps due to the number of guests that she can invite, you will then have to decide if you go alone or pass on participating. Either way, stay positive.
Resource http://thetandd.com/ready-to-give-up-smoking-for-good/article_dad1cb75-3c06-5c72-8bb0-fad1bf273668.html
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